Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Power of Words

The other day I got lost in a bookstore. There were so many books. Books from the floor to the ceiling. Old books, new books, well loved and dusty books alike. I started to think about the contents of their pages. Each book is formed by the same principle of putting together a combination of 26 letters into words, and then those words into sentences. Those sentences form into ideas, and from there anything is possible. You can write about anything. Words are so mighty. Humans crave stories and words give us the power to create new worlds and the ability to bring our ideas to life. To boldly forge opinions and express them to others. I was amazed in the bookstore by the shear volume of the words and ideas. The amount of stories, theories, biographies and scientific findings. These words, when read, allow us to unlock things, learn, and grow.

The power of the written word is however eclipsed by the power of words that are spoken to us. We have the choice to read the words that are in books, or not to. However, what we can't control are the words that people use when speaking with us. We can not control what they call us. People can use words for amazing things. For freedom, praise, and encouragement. This same power can be used to destroy as well though. Words are often used to cause anguish: to dishearten and condemn. When we speak these words out over people, we have no idea the harm that we are doing to them. The power that we have just with the words that leave our lips is astonishing.

The beautiful thing though is that the God of the universe speaks words over us too. Words of life from the depths of who he is, strait to the core of who we are. He doesn't call us what the world calls us. His words bring out the best in us. They draw out who we were created to be. They bring out our true beauty. They make us stronger and braver. They make us come to life. He is the one who spoke life into being. He spoke and there was light. He spoke and the waters formed into seas. He spoke and it was. The words on his lips are like water to dry land. They are the blood in our veins and the beat of our heart; they bring life to us.

God being the gentleman that He his, doesn't force His words on us. He gives us the choice to believe and listen to what He is speaking over us. The world calls things that are really easy to believe. That we aren't good enough. That we will never amount to anything. That we are too much, unworthy, or even a lost cause. It is so easy to listen to these words and to tune out what God is speaking over us. However, once we truly learn to embrace who we are, and absorb what he speaks over us, It's like we are living for the first time. He makes us come alive.

I've struggled for a long time truly believing that what God speaks over me is truth. I know that He thinks more good things about me than the grains of sand, but it was much easier to believe the things that the world was telling me I was. The closer I grow to God though, the more my heart opens and allows more of His words to spill in. Each day it's like I get to breath for the first time. I get a glimpse of who God sees when he looks at me and I am astonished. He looks at us with such love and belief it's breathtaking.

God has given this power to us too. To speak these same words of life over others and call them to be the people that He knows they can be. To fill their hearts with His love and their heads with who they really are. My goal is to create life with words. To help people embrace the words that God has for them and understand who He has called them to be.

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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Within Reach.

Sometimes all you need for a perspective change is to ask for one.

Yesterday during staff training we were discussing outreach. For those of you who aren’t familiar with YWAMer lingo, “Outreach” basically refers to a missions trip. Generally these “outreaches” are 10 weeks long and are done while apart of a Discipleship Training School or a secondary school. They don’t have to be with a school – staff can plan their own – but generally they are done with students and have staff as leaders. Before the school starts, staff members pray and ask where they should go. They then begin to plan, organize and pray for the outreach they will be leading.  Students find out all the locations later (towards the middle of their lecture phase) and pray about which one they should join.

Outreach is a scary concept for me. By leading one, I will be in charge of a group of people in a foreign country. Utterly terrifying. The concept seemed a little foreign to my heart too. I am by no means saying that I am not passionate about what I do. I love being in YWAM and getting to disciple youth is amazing and life giving for me. I love people, and want to see everyone come to know Jesus, but sometimes it takes longer for your heart to understand things than your brain. This was my heart for outreach. Hesitant. Apprehensive. Wary. I know the power of outreach – I had an awesome time in Asia last year – but sitting there in the living room yesterday, my heart wasn’t breaking for the lost. My head knew that it was sad, and that Jesus desires these people, but my heart was lagging.

Right before we were about to begin the first prayer session for Outreach, Cory (one of our base leaders who is visiting us here in Florida) felt like she needed to say something. She talked to us about how Outreach used to be hard for her and that she needed to ask God to open her heart more. There used to be a disconnect between her heart and her head. She needed her heart to understand His heart for the people. I didn’t realize that was what was happening to me until she voiced that. She said that if we felt that way too, then we should ask for God to help us in that area.

I was terrified. Did I really want to ask God what his heart was for this? I knew it would be painful. But because it was painful to him, I knew that it was important. But as the prayer time began, I “casually” avoided asking him for his perspective on outreach. I started off by asking him where I should go. I jotted some things down in my notebook, but everything felt superficial. When I pray I like to write it down. When I really hear God, words just seem to flow from my head to my hand and onto the page. But this was like pulling teeth; slow and painful. Then I wrote down “Dream huge. Don’t be afraid”, and that reminded me of the new years resolution that I made. I resolved to be brave. To take risks. I then realized that this was a place where I needed bravery.  So I asked him. What I felt in the next 24 minutes was gut-wrenching and beautiful. 

I got a picture of Jesus. He was standing close to someone. I couldn’t tell who they were, but that was irrelevant. What was relevant was how he felt for this person. He was reaching out and His fingertips mere millimeters from this person. But despite how hard he reached, he couldn’t touch them. The desire he felt for this person was painful. He wanted so badly to reach out and embrace them, but he couldn’t. They needed to come the rest of the way to Him. He needed their permission. They needed to say yes to Him. Once they did, he could embrace them. He could fix them. He could comfort them in His strong arms. The pain and righteous frustration was so unfair. So close and yet so far. “How gloriously unfair,” I wrote “to sit and watch on the sides as people you love, so close to your grasp, sink in to depression, pain and desperation. How heart wrenching to have the keys but to not be allowed to open the door without permission. To have to wait and hope that one day, they will allow you to open that door.” I then continued to write, “But how beautiful is the one who waits. How amazing he is to not give up, but to endure that pain out of a crazy loving hope. This is love. This is dedication. This is pursuit. This is the God I serve. Who else would just sit and wait for us. To hope and hurt for us. To allow us such freedom that it would cause him this pain. To feel the breadth of every emotion and yet bear it all out of love. So close, and yet not close enough. What anticipation. What longing. What level of desire would pin him there. What a God of ferocity and devotion to endure the pain of waiting and not give up.”

God knows all people by name. He is calling for them with outstretched arms. He is so close to them, and all they have to do is say yes. This is the purpose behind Outreach: to introduce them to the God who desires them above all else. What a privilege it is to help them cross those last few millimeters. To be entrusted with this is such an honor. My heart was so full after that session. I was almost in tears the entire time. To get a glimpse of that was so powerful. To feel so trapped in love. Frozen and unable to move because of His devotion to us. It gave me a completely different outlook on outreach and people. He views everyone who doesn’t know him like this. Wow.

I serve such a beautiful God. He is so real and loving. His pursuit is so inspiring. Outreach may still scare me, but now I can say that my heart feels full of excitement for it. Everyone deserves to feel the love of the One who waits with such devotion. 

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Friday, January 3, 2014

Looking Backwards then Forwards

I started last year in Surkhet, Nepal. I was in the midst of an amazing adventure, but the adventure didn't end there. My entire year of 2013 can be classified as one big adventure. I have been on more planes in this past year than I think I have my whole life. I have seen so many amazing things, and met so many beautiful people. I was a Program Assistant at Pines and moved to Germany. I got to give my mom the shock of her life, see two of my best friends get married and the other welcome new life into the world. I've made friends all over the world and been challenged the most spiritually this year than any other. I got to end this year back in Canada, surrounded by amazing friends. Those two weeks were the proverbial cherry on top of a wonderful year.

Here's the part of the post where I "declare" my New Years resolution. Usually people make resolutions that are fairly specific or cheesy. This year I'm going a bit vague... and hopefully not cheesy! This year, I am resolving to be brave. I have a God who is huge. He is in control. He has a plan. I am a person who worries and gets anxious pretty easily (although I'm also really good at hiding it), so this year I've resolved not to worry. I'm going to take steps of faith and trust more. I'm going to not be scared, but share how I'm feeling and what I want. I'm going to swallow fear and skip forward filled with joy. I'm going to embrace every opportunity and get the most out of this year. 

Watch out 2014. This is going to be fun ;)

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Friday, November 15, 2013

Willkommen in Hamburg : Mini Outreach


So last week I had the privilege of tagging along with the DTS Students and Staff to Hamburg on Mini-Outreach! This was the second mini outreach that I have been on and it was absolutely amazing. It was such a breath of fresh air to be in a large city again. I love little Herrnhut, don’t get me wrong, but there is something so amazing about being in a large city, especially such a beautiful one.

We left last Saturday in 3 groups, mine being the first one at 8:30 in the morning, which was nice because that means that we wouldn’t get there too late. My travel group consisted of about 50 students and 6 staff that would all stay together at one church (the other two groups would stay at another church). It was about a 9 hour travel day (which was super nice compared to the 48 hour travel days last year in India haha), and we got there without missing any trains or any major confusion, which was nice for traveling in such a large size.


Outreach started basically as soon as we got onto the train. Kaleigh and I sat next to this elderly woman, and we hit it off her (with the help of a translator). We learned about her kids she eventually told us that two of the four were Atheists, and that she prayed for them every night. We got to pray for her and she was really moved and blessed by it. I saw how happy she was, and it was in that moment when I got really excited for this outreach. The fact that all you have to do is talk to people and relate to them and show them Jesus through your actions makes it super simple.


We got to our church and it was super nice. We noticed that it was just off a street called Hamburger Straße (basically Hamburger street) and that there was a McDonalds across the street. Taylor, one of the students, made a comment about how funny it would be to eat a Hamburger in Hamburg on Hamburger Straße... So obviously, me being Trinda and by definition absolutely up for anything ridiculous, that happened within the hour with photo evidence. Getting to hang out with the students this past week was such a blessing. Because I am not actually school staff, but base staff, and my job is in the back office, I don’t really get to interact with them and make friends with them as much. This week I got to know some amazing students and got to participate in a plethora of shenanigans. Some really memorable ones included the floor turning to lava at 7pm until midnight (that was really fun to get groceries across to the kitchen haha), an epic dance party happening randomly, and a HUGE pizza party out in front of the docks. I had so much fun and hadn’t laughed that much in so long!








Mini Outreach was such a blast, not only because of the fun, but also how inspired I was to see these students in action. Within the first 24 hours, they burst into action and were touching people’s lives right from the get-go. After the first night, our church shared stories of what they did to encourage each other to keep pushing. These stories blew me away. People were entering the Reeperbahn (Hamburg’s Red Light District) and praying there. They were praying for people and lies were being broken already. People could feel Gods presence tangibly and dark atmospheres were being changed. Within 24 hours. I was so taken aback and amazed. They also planned a worship/intercession event close to the Reeperbahn, we participated in powerful prayer walks, and people blessed others through arts. Personally, this was the first time for me that I have seen such powerful evangelism in a big city. I was inspired, and challenged to step up my game, but at the same time not to strive, but to let God really use me how He wanted to. It was amazing.




My most memorable evangelism day included talking to people around the red light district and entering bars to do “bar ministry”. Haha. If you know much about me, then you know that I have been into very few bars in my 21 years. But myself and the 3 other students that I went with had a blast. We got to have some really good conversations with some amazing older German locals. Three of us ended talking to a German school cook, who had been to India. I had been there as well, and the other two students will be going there soon. I could tell that he was really enjoying the conversation, and we were able to bless his day. While we were talking, the other student was talking to the bartender when someone sat down next to her. They started a conversation and she learned that He just came from the country that she will be heading to! Talk about divine appointments! Turns out he runs a ministry in the Reeperbahn and they got to talk about that and her dreams for her future. Another older man that we talked to also treated us to another round of Cokes as well. Time flew by and pretty soon we realized that we were late to meet the final person in our travel group who had left to shoot for her video. We left the bar, but before exiting I told the bartender that she was beautiful in German [pretty good German in my opinion ;)]. She smiled so huge! I could tell that we really brought the presence of the Lord into that place. We were 10 minutes late to meet Justyna, but while she was waiting she had the chance to talk to someone who I had met earlier that day. Because of the language barrier I couldn’t talk to him, but he was Polish and so was she, so they were able to talk and she was able to pray for him. All-in-all it was an amazing day of many amazing days that I had in this beautiful city.



On Thursday night, the OBJECT Conference started. It was a 3 day conference that was put on by Hope Dies Last, a ministry run out of our base that is dedicated to “Transforming culture through media and missions to counteract human trafficking and sexual exploitation.”  I learned so much about human trafficking and the sex industry. There are so many things, and so much information that people need to know. There are so many crimes and people being hurt daily. We learned about the effects of pornography, buying sex, and being sexually exploited on the human mind and how God views it. Personally, I got really fired up. I think that eventually I want to be involved somehow in the fight for this freedom. We’ll see what that looks like in the future. God has His plan for my life, but I have this new passion that I never knew existed in me before. I love it when God shows you something new, that you and Him can have a passion for together.


The week that I got to spend in Hamburg was really amazing. I learned a lot, had a blast, and really saw God move. I am so excited to hear the stories from when these students come back from Outreach, and to see them realize even more how God can use them for such great things!




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Friday, October 18, 2013

One Rainy Night

So, I've said it once, and I am sure I will say it many times more in my life... If something can happen to me, it usually will. I'm not saying that I have a pessimistic view on my life, in fact it's quite the opposite. I love having interesting, even hilarious things happen to me so I have the joy of sharing later. I can laugh a situation off almost instantly and think about how fun it will be to share it later. I've had my car break down multiple times, I've booked plane tickets for the wrong day, I've ridden on multiple sketchy bus rides, and I have a knack for getting lost. I can look back on all of those stories and laugh and praise God in them. I figure that if my life wasn't interesting, then I would get really bored. God must have known that about me when he made me and planned out my life... Well of course he did... He's God. (He also must have known that I would need a patient set of parents to deal with me ;) Good thing I have some!) I love God and how he knows those things about us when he plans our lives. 

Yesterday was one of those days. I didn't get lost or do something silly, but when I think about it, of COURSE it would happen to me. Myself and my co-core group leader (Kelsey) had just wrapped up core group meeting for the day. It was a really good time, and I loved every second, but once it was over I got really tired. I had a bit of a head cold (sneezing, watery eyes, sniffles, head ache... the works) and I had been fighting through the whole day because I hate missing things at the base. But it was 6 and it was time for me to go home! I wandered downstairs (I say wander because it's me... and I get distracted easily) and eventually I ran into my friend Sophia. She was printing things in the darkroom and wondered if we could walk home together. I said sure, and that I just needed to get my stuff from the back office. I reached out to open the door, turned the handle, and to my hearts discontent, I discovered that it was locked. The contents within the office included one backpack, one purse with wallet and all monies, and one laptop, all of which belonged to me. Of course it would also make sense that my card to unlock the office was also within the office. I laughed it off, because I could just get all of my stuff in the morning, and it was safe within the locked office, so I walked home with Sophia. I dropped her off and then went to my apartment.  

Upon arriving at my apartment I realized that my keys were in my purse... which was in the office... of course haha. It was 7:30 though, so I figured that one of my roommates would be home... But if they were then my story wouldn't be near as interesting now would it. Sooooo of course, no one was home. And like any dramatic story, this is the part where the rain makes it's entrance. So I'm standing in the rain, with no keys, and no way into my apartment. I am dead tired to the point of where my eyes hurt just because they are still open, sneezing and cold (my jacket was also locked away "safe and sound"), and I'm hungry and just want to take a shower. I ask God what I should do and he says "Go to ministry night." I laugh and think to myself, "Ha. Really funny God. I'm wet, tired, and hungry. I just want to eat and sleep and you want me to go pray and sing? You're kidding right. I know I told you that I wanted to go, but not tonight. I'll go next week."

At this point I am seriously getting hungry. Hungry to the point of being cranky (haha or "h-angry" as my friends call it). I realize have 1.50€ in my pocket and by that time 20 minutes until the grocery store closed. So like any good North American living in Germany I go to the store to by a chocolate bar. I had made up my mind, so I trudged to "Penny" in the rain to buy a chocolate bar. If you know anything about the Penny Markt, then you know that they always have very interesting things on sale. You can get easily distracted perusing the multiple isles (or at least I can anyways) looking at the new things. I couldn't find anything interesting for under 1.50€, so I continued on to the chocolate. Once in the chocolate isle, I found the 1€ shelf, where there were a bunch of random things for only 1€. On the very last shelf, I found a measuring cup! We had been needing one of those really desperately in our apartment, and I was super happy to have found one! I then find a .35€ chocolate bar and proceed to the checkout, happy that I actually got something that our apartment needed. Maybe I heard God wrong! Maybe God wanted me to go get chocolate and a measuring cup! Maybe now my roommates would be home and I could eat dinner WITH chocolate and then go to bed nice and dry.

Nope. That wasn't it. They weren't home. And it was still raining.

At this point Im frustrated, and the joys of chocolate can't help (although I did eat the whole bar just to see if it would). There was no point of me sitting in the rain on the doorstep of my apartment building. So I decide to walk to the Café run by one of our base ministries. At least there it would be dry. As I was walking though, something came over me (and it wasn't the German chocolate). I began to pray out loud. I just began to thank God for things. I thanked him for my apartment. I thanked him that even though I didnt have a jacket, at least I did have clothes. I thanked him for the rain even though i was getting wet. I just kept thanking him for all that I had... shoes, friends, lights, food, chocolate, and pretty soon I was in a much better mood... But I was STILL not going to ministry night. I wasn't in THAT good of a mood.

As I was walking down the road, I reached the place where I was supposed to turn to go to the cafe. But for some reason I didnt. I just decided to take the long way and walk past the place where ministry night was, just because. BUT I wasn't going... I was going NEXT week. But as I got closer to the entrance a song got stuck in my head.

"All who are thirsty, all who are weak, come to the fountain, dip your heart in the stream of life..."

God has a way of knowing what is best for you. He isn't going to force you into it though. I ended up making the decision in the end to go to inside. I could have kept walking if I wanted. God gave me the freedom to walk in the rain, and even gave me something in that, but he still knew what was best. If I had listened a bit sooner, I would have been drier, but I did gain a tad of wisdom (and a measuring cup) out of the situation. The prayer and worship was just what I needed. I even got to pray for others, which I love doing! By the time it was over, I was feeling a lot better! The Holy Spirit moved so much in that place, and I really felt refreshed.

I love the things God does and the way he moves in my life. Sometimes it's small, like last night, but I think the small ways are more personal, and are just at powerful as the big ones. I love that even when I don't do what's best sometimes, God still loves to spoil me because I'm his child. And when I surrender and realize that he KNOWS what he's talking about, then he just wants to spoil me even more. I love that my life is never dull and that everything that happens can be used to glorify Him in one way or another.

Hopefully though, from now on I won't get locked out of any more offices... :D

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Thursday, October 3, 2013

Provider

...my God is a God who Provides...
The more that I look back on my life, I see more and more of God’s fingerprints everywhere. He is so involved in every single aspect of my life. Things happen in his perfect timing and I can see what a perfect father he is.

Ever since I was about 16, I wanted to move out.  It wasn’t that I wanted to escape my parents and Kyle; the exact opposite is true. I love my family so much and really enjoy spending time with them. The reason that I wanted to move out was to have my own space that I could decorate and make my own. I dreamed of my pictures in frames all over the house, a mint kitchen, a huge book collection (...that would eventually turn into a library when I got older), and nice places where I could have friends over to talk and visit. So moving out had always been a bit of a fantasy for me. I never figured in the logistical side of things however. 16 year olds don’t dream about rent, or water bills, or landlords.  That was for people my parent’s age!


Now being 21, this is the first time that I can say that I’ve officially “Moved Out”. Sure I’ve lived on campus at Trinity Western, and I’ve lived at camp for 4 months at a time for a few years, but I’ve never had to think about rent or cook for myself. I have now moved out and get to embrace all the things that come along with that.
While I was working at camp this summer, I didn’t think about the encroaching and impending “YOU ARE FLYING AWAY TO LIVE IN A FOREGIN COUNTRY” date. Not only was I moving out, but I was moving out in GERMANY. I didn’t really think about what that all entailed. When you move into a German apartment, it doesn’t come with anything. Nothing at all. No kitchen, no counters, no stove no nothing. Over the summer I was involved with a Facebook message with my roommates. They kept talking about how they were receiving things and how God was blessing us. I thought that it was awesome how He was providing for us and for me when I wasn’t even there yet, but I guess it couldn’t really sink in fully until I actually saw the provision first hand.
The day that Tess and I went to get the keys was my first time actually inside the apartment. I looked around and the more that I looked, the more excited I got. This was going to be my home!  God had given us this place to live (it’s super hard to find housing in Herrnhut because of all the staff that need it) and it wasn’t the floor or couch of someone else’s place. That night Maddie, Tess, Sofia and I had a sleepover together in one room of our new place waiting for the next morning when Miri was coming with all of the things that she said God had provided us with. I had no concept of how much it was until I actually saw it...


 Our God is a God who sure knows how to provide. Seriously.
The Empty Kitchen

The Living Room
The Living Room
We took boxes upon boxes of stuff up the 4 floors worth of stairs. I sure got a workout that morning! The boxes just kept piling up on top of each other. Then came the stove, and the sink, and the counters, the washing machine and the fridge. I was blown away every time that I saw something new come out of the back of that moving truck. When we had finished unpacking out apartment was filled with tons of things! I was prepared to buy my own mattress, but we got exactly 5 donated. We actually had 2 stoves and 2 fridges so we were able to give the extra away to people who didn’t have any yet. As we sorted through the things, we had plenty for ourselves, so we were able to bless others with all the pots, dishes, coffee pots and water heaters and other things that we had an excess of! Shoot we even have a set of fancy dishes and cups, and I have an entire matching tea set for when my core group wants to have tea parties.
The Living Room AFTER the Moving Truck

Seriously. So Much Stuff
God only wants to bless us, and he has shown me just how capable of that He is. We didn’t have to pay anything for the things that we were blessed with. We didn’t even have to pay for the moving truck. God is seriously so amazing and good! I know I shouldn’t be, but I am continuously blown away at what He is capable of. God can do anything. He is a God who loves to take care of his children. He is a provider of everything good. He loves me more that I could ever understand or deserve. Whenever I get worried or afraid thinking about the future, like my rent or having enough to buy groceries, I can just look back to this time and remember just how well and fully God provides. He can do this, and much more.

I now have a place that I get to make my own. I have a room that I share with an amazing friend (WOOHOO MADDIE!) and awesome roommates. It may not be like I imagined exactly when I was younger, but I think it’s better this way. I have to work and pray for things and it might not be easy, but that makes it more satisfying. I am learning so much and having a blast while doing it!

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Friday, September 13, 2013

Rest in Me...

... Be still and know that I am God...
~ Psalm 46:10 ~

I am notoriously known for pushing myself to the limits. I worked my self so hard in the past (and VERY recent past), and have been told multiple times throughout my life, that I needed to take a break. The problem with breaks however, is that I can't work while I take a break! (shocking logic i know ;) ) I believed that I had the power to keep pushing myself, and that if I took a break, then I became a burden to everyone around me; I had a fear that people would believe that I wasn't pulling my own weight. I had a fear of being still. I had a fear of being weak.

Funny thing about God... He likes to continuously refine us. Make us better. And sometimes it doesn't feel so nice. 

I got on the plane to leave for Germany, and everything was just peachy. I had just finished an intense summer at Pines and was excited to jump in, and get right to work at the base in Germany. Right as we were taking off though, I got this pain in my neck and left arm, and my chest constricted. It was super uncomfortable! The neck pain lasted almost the whole trip, train included, which was quite the annoyance, but I brushed it off. The excitement and adrenalin of being back in Germany, and being reunited with my friends, made the pain sink into the background. I went strait to the base the day after I arrived and threw myself into helping prepare for the schools.

The next day was awful. The pain in my neck had returned with a vengeance! I worked though it though, thinking that it would go away and I just had to suck it up. That didn't really work... all that did was cause my left arm to go numb. Talk about not being able to lend a hand anywhere! Along with that came an extreme tiredness that I have never felt before. I was exhausted. I was wiped. I was done.

I was resting in the stairwell when one of the base leaders found me. After talking with her (and a bit of crying on her), she put me to bed on a couch upstairs. I told her about how I didn't want to feel like a burden to anyone, and she spoke amazing words of life over me. She said that I wasn't a burden and that I was still in transition from a BIG life change. I needed time to rest and process things.

After my sleep on the couch, I went to the doctor here in Germany. He said that I pinched a nerve in my neck. No fun at all! So I admitted "defeat" and retreated to my bed. And slept.

While I was still in pain, I was talking and praying with one of my friends. She looked at me and said that she felt that this was a season of my life where she felt like God was going to teach me new things. She said that I was not Gods "work horse", but that I was his Daughter. Boy did that hit home. I had been trying so hard this past while to do, do, do! I had forgotten to rest in Gods presence and that he had already done everything that I need. He died for me. I was his princess! I couldn't do anything more to make him extra proud of me. He was already proud of me.

I'm almost back to 100% now. Rest is so good! I'm still learning what it means to rest in God. I'm still learning how to take time for myself (but I think I've gotten better at it!!!). I'm still learning who I really am in God, and that's ok! God has this amazing adventure planned for me. I'm super excited to get to partner with him and work with him this season of my life. I just need to remember that I need to rest. That I am not a burden. That I am not a work horse. I am Gods daughter, and I need to be still and rest in Him. 

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Location: Herrnhut, Germany